The truth of optimism

My friends told me to share the true parts of me , which includes my unmet emotions and shadow aspects, the parts that make us human. this however would reveal my weakness, my bright and bubbly persona , along with pretending that I have it altogether, all of the time would be destroyed. Unfortunately, illusions aren’t real and can’t hold forever.

Revealing shadow aspects

My first blog was titled ‘A cup of tea with feeling down.’ I wrote about how sometimes we don’t understand ourselves why we are feeling this way.

I also wrote how people trying to help will point out positive aspects that you have in your life and there are always  people in worse situations  out there. This of course is not what someone in this state of mind wants to hear. All you want is to be understood and listened to without  someone trying to rationalise the situation, making themselves feel better in the process of trying to help.  It’s only human nature to try and fix  or help someone hurting but All I know is it takes time to process unmet emotions and is a skill that not all of us  are equipped with.

My second blog ‘The dark side of optimism’ was an account of multiple variations of challenges I kept having towards goals I was wanting to achieve. My optimism  was the main victor through most of these challenges, with me always finding silver linings  as to why the setback had occurred. After awhile however, there are only so many knockdowns you can take before you feel like you can’t get up again.

Then retreating down that damn rabbit hole seems to be your only option to lick your wounds  and mend your broken parts.

Reflection down in the rabbit hole

Each time I venture back out of the rabbit hole, brave and ready to face the world again, I think that I have mastered the demons that brought me down, only to have to face them at a different level sometime down the track. Each time growing and learning more about what makes me tick and being a little kinder to myself.

When things happen to us that at the time we can’t quite deal with, suppressing our emotions is a coping mechanism we use to be able to keep in with the game of life. These things however, can’t stay hidden and suppressed, they need to be heard and acknowledged, otherwise they become like a volcano wanting to erupt. Often this is something we don’t have the tools to deal with and seeking professional support is needed.

Tools for good mental health

I have gathered a wonderful set of tools to help me stay in a positive and optimistic state of mind but that only works if I use them. What I have noticed in reflection is that when I get into these states, I haven’t been using them, nor can I seem to bring myself to begin implementing them. That is when the spiral downward starts. Each time guaranteed, for whatever reason, injury, health issues, external events interfere with my routine, then down the slide I go. Personally, I am no good without routine and to some degree discipline, along with having a goal to aim for.

Some of the valuable tools in my positive outlook on life box are:

• Writing in a gratitude diary. Each day recalling three things to be grateful for and that went in a positive direction for me.
• Exercise. Walking every morning, moving my body to get those endorphins moving around my body. So long as it brings you pleasure, find movement.
• Healthy eating. We are what we eat. If you eat crap, you will feel like crap. Eat fresh and healthy, then that is what you will feel.
• Meditation and mindfulness. This is a no brainer for me. When I quiet the mind, slow my breath, and become aware of my body and surroundings then life flows beautifully. There are many ways to meditate, play around and find your own groove. Give yoga a try.
• Creativity. Anything that gets you into that zone or flow state does wonders for the soul. Personally dancing, music and writing is my thing. So long as you are not thinking about anything else but what you are doing then you will be in your zone. Gardening, playing music, drawing or art, the list is endless.
• Set a goal. I am a real avid fan of this one. Without something to aim towards, then we just aimlessly wander through life. Setting a goal gives you drive to be a more confident, positive and a better version of yourself.
• Read. Get off the screen and get into an enjoyable book that you can submerge yourself into. This improves your imagination and out of your own thoughts.
• Don’t listen or watch the news. My argument for this is simple. Does it personally affect you? Can you or are you prepared to do anything about it? If the answer is ‘No’, then why fill your mind up with all this negativity. All it does is create a fear-based mindset about life and the world around us. Use that time to do any of the above suggestions.

The truth of optimism

So, can one be eternally optimistic and find silver linings all of the time? I can’t say no, as there are truly a few enlightened beings on the planet at this very moment but for the majority of us, perhaps not. I do know that it takes discipline, a connection of our mind, body, and soul to stay balanced. Healthy eating, exercise and constant checking in with staying true to our feelings and being kind to ourselves when doing this. Expressing and acknowledging our emotions and having connection with people is vital.

I am not immune to having a cup of tea with feeling down. At times I have drunk the whole pot, had a roast dinner then slept the night but I knew if I didn’t leave, I would make it my home and I didn’t want that.

So my fellow travellers, be kind to yourself when you slide down that rabbit hole. Take time to go within and discover yourself. Life is a journey, not a destination, be aware and focus on each step of the way without looking for the finishing line. I know that I will most probably slide down again at some stage but until then, I will endeavour to implement and use the tools I have. Hoping you find silver linings, love and laughter and remember we are all only human after all.

Next time I will share how my alter ego Zena Warrior Woman is going with my dream and goal of swimming in The World Transplant Games, now only three months away.

Thankyou for joining me once again.

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Tell me what you would like me to talk about.

I am here for you my fellow travellers and want to know what you enjoy reading.

Until next time…